my muse has jumped ship
by bethfekete
Summary: contained here are stories that I have discontinued because my muse decided I wasn't worthy of his time. Feel free to take over where I left off or rip it to shreds and use the idea. Each chapter will be a new story.
1. Avalon meet and greet

When Arthur died he thought he would see his parents and friends waiting for him. He thought he would be able to watch over his living friends and wait for them in return. When he died he thought he would finally be able to rest.

He wasn't _all _ wrong. He did get to see his friends and loved ones. And there _was _someone waiting. But that's starting at the end of the story. Or maybe the middle. Or maybe a mix of both. Let's start somewhere that makes more sense. King Arthur's death in the arms of a warlock.

"I want to say something I've never said to you before: Merlin, thank you."

And that was it. Arthur looked into his best friends eyes and knew for the first time in his life he had said exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. Then he let his hand drop from Merlin's head and he gave in to the darkness that had been pulling at him since Mordred's blow.

It was a seamless transition. One moment he accepted death and the next he was watching his friend scream and beg. He watched until a shattered Merlin lit his king's body on fire and threw Excalibur into the lake. He watched a small hand catch the sword and pull it under. He watched Merlin turn and start back to Camelot and he watched a petite woman rise from the water. He saw her stare after Merlin. The woman turned and approached the young king sword still in hand.

And that, my friends, is where our story truly begins.

* * *

"King Arthur, if you'll follow me please."

"Who are you? You look familiar."

"I am the Lady of the Lake. Before that I was a scared druid that had been cursed and killed."

Arthur was puzzled but followed nonetheless, he was dead, what was she going to do? Kill him more? Despite the introduction, he didn't remember her. "Were you in a druid camp?"

Freya looked over her shoulder, "No, I was in the courtyard trying to escape before I transformed and hurt someone."

Arthur stopped. He remembered now. "The Bastet. But that wasn't a curse, that was a beast that took the shape of a girl to lure in men."

A tinkling laugh came from the girl. "No you dollop-head, what you just described is a Lamia. Now let's get going. I don't like to keep the Sidhe waiting."

He was startled at the name. This girl had known Merlin. He shook his head. Of _course _this girl had known Merlin. A magical beast in Camelot. That had Merlin written all over it.

"You called me a dollop-head. How did you know Merlin? Was he the one that cursed you?"

Freya spun on her heel, sword raised, and snarled, "Merlin is the kindest man I have ever known. He rescued me from Halig and wanted to take me away. He loved me and with every breath in my dying body I loved him. It's because he brought me here to a lake with mountains that I died in peace. It's because of his love for me that the Sidhe gave me passage to Avalon and I became the Lady of the Lake. Everyone that Merlin loves. Truly loves. Ends up here. Now shut up and follow me!"

As she stormed off Arthur decided to keep his mouth closed until he knew what was going on. With a sigh he followed and thought about the Merlin he didn't know. He hoped the the- _she_?- could tell him more about his friend and the love that had apparently brought him to Avalon.

Through the mist Arthur began to see shapes. The people Merlin loved, he thought to himself. I wonder who's here.

He stopped for a third time and his jaw dropped. There was Lancelot and Elyan talking to the Dragon lord Balinor. He saw a hair flip out of the corner of his eye and his heart clenched "oh Gwaine" he murmured to himself. Merlin didn't even know. He turned and saw Gwaine already laughing with Will. Will, who was apparently not the sorcerer that had conjured the wind.

He looked around and saw Morgana?! sitting with his- what?! Morgana and Uther were sitting together having a civil conversation. No, more than civil. There were tears and smiles. He walked over to them, the confusion surely written all over his face.

"Father? Morgana? What's going on? I thought this was for those that Merlin loved."

Uther smiled and patted the ground next to him. "Sit down son. Someone will be here shortly to explain. We've been called from our separate areas with your arrival. There's going to be an announcement."

"Father, I know why Morgana is here. Merlin has always had a crush on her. But you? You executed magic users for years. You hated him. He killed you! Why are you here?"

The others had wandered over at this point and Gwaine put a hand on Arthur's shoulder.

"Really, Princess? You haven't figured that out? Merlin hated the tyrant that killed because of magic but he loved your father because he was your father."

"And dear brother, Merlin didn't kill Uther. Agravaine and I did. I gave your uncle an amulet that would reverse any spell. Merlin tried to heal Uther. He wasn't healing the tyrant. He was helping the man that was responsible for bringing you into the world. He was helping because _you_ asked for magic. If he could show you that magic could be used for good, he would make sure that the king would live."

Again, Arthur was slack jawed. Before he could reply he saw a small blue light coming from the mist. A familiar shape stood next to it. From the body language it looked like the person was unsure how they'd be received by the assembled group.

The mist cleared and Morgana was the first to shout "Mordred!" running to the boy. Arthur had enough time to think "why aren't I angry? he killed me." before the blue light became clear and the being contained in the sphere started to speak.

"You all know that you're here because Emrys loves you. In time you'll be reunited with him but for now you'll wait. Strength," he looked at Gwaine, "when the time comes Emrys will need you to keep him grounded. Courage, he'll need you when everything starts to bring him down. High Priestess, he was your doom but he is also your destiny. Remember that."

"How long will we have to wait?" "What are we waiting for?" "Will anyone else be joining us?"

The Sidhe held up his hands, "All in good time. Others will be joining you and they will each bring a piece of the legend with them. For now, share your stories. Share your Merlin and your Emrys. The next to join you will not be here for many years and they will bring news of their Merlin. Of their Emrys. And so it will go until all are assembled and the world needs you." With that he was gone.

The group looked at each other. Clearly some of the information was new to those that had been here for a while.

Will was the first to speak. "Well we're supposed to share our stories of Merlin, right? I knew him first so I guess I'll start." He paused and licked his lips. "Um.. I'm not sure where to start exactly so how about you guys ask and we'll go from there."

"How old were you when you met?" Lancelot asked.

"We were 6." Will grimaced. Apparently it was not a fond memory. "We hated each other! My mother and I just moved to Ealdor. My father had just died and I was looking for my place with the other children. I met Merlin first. He was so nice. He showed me where all the best hiding spots were. He showed me where we could fish and swim. He was my only friend for a few days. Then I met the other children and found out that Merlin was a bastard. They threw things at him and teased him. No wonder the kid knew where all the hiding spots were. Of course I wanted to be liked by the group so I showed them where he hid. I threw things at him when he walked by. I called him names. But he always had a smile on his face. Like he knew I was a good person even though I was doing awful things."

"So how did you become best friends? When we were there you looked really close."

Will rolled his eyes, "You know Merlin, Morgana. He came up to me one day when I was alone. We were 8 I think. And he gave me one of those smiles. You know, the ones where his eyes crinkle up and suddenly you're feeling happy too? One of those. And he said 'It's ok. I know what I am and I know you just want to be liked. But we had fun those first couple of days, yeah? If you ever need to get away I have some new hiding spots.' I was floored. Did he really just say that? We were mean to him for years and he was still willing to be my friend? And that's what it was. He was willing to be _my_ friend. Not asking me to be _his _friend. So I followed him. I asked him if he was simple on top of being a freak. He said 'No. I just thought maybe you needed a friend.' I let him walk away. But it got me thinking you know? I watched him closely after that. When the kids picked on him he took it with a smile. He helped his mum with the chores and helped most of the people in the village. Hunith had taught him to read and write so he would write letters for some of the adults. He always had a kind word. Nothing got the kid down. One day, I think it was summer, Merlin had flowers in his hand. Hunith hadn't been well and he was bringing them to her. One of the older kids knocked him down and stomped the flowers into the dirt. Merlin took it with a smile and walked away. I followed him to one of his new hiding spots and hid behind the bushes. Merlin sat there for a minute and then he started to cry. These huge sobs were coming out of this scrawny kid. I sat down next to him and rubbed his back. I think that was the first time I ever saw him react to the bullies with something other than a grin. When he calmed down I asked him why he didn't just go pick more. He told me there weren't anymore. That was all of them. He asked me why I followed him and I didn't have an answer. I asked him why he never fought back and he looked at himself, looked at me, looked back at himself and rolled his eyes. We both laughed and from then on we were inseperable. I taught him how to fight back with words and he taught me how to think for myself."

Arthur spoke next, "When did you find out about his magic?"

Will grew somber. "Just before he left for Camelot. We were in the forest and I was chopping down a tree. We didn't see Old man Simmons until the tree started to fall. It was going to land on top of him. I looked at Merlin the exact second his eyes went gold and the tree moved two feet to the left. It landed on Simmons leg instead of his head. Merlin looked at me and the color drained from his face. He ran back to his house and I followed. We were yelling at each other when his mother walked in. I was asking why he never told me. I was hurt! He had lied to me for years! How could he keep this a secret? From me?! I was his best friend! I stormed out of the house and didn't talk to him for a week. When I went back he was packing to go to Camelot."

Arthur swallowed. That sounded really familiar.

Freya turned to look at the group. Most of them had forgotten about her. "When I met Merlin I knew he had magic from the beginning. He used it to release me from the cage i was in. He took me to the catacombs and kept me safe. He brought me food and gave me his jacket. He loved me and I loved him. I didn't feel like a monster when I was with him. For the first time in a long time I was just me. Not a druid to be hunted. Not someone cursed. Not a killer. Just Freya. Merlin's Freya. We were going to run away together. Somewhere with a lake and mountains. Somewhere we could be free. After I was stabbed Merlin carried me here. A place with a lake and mountains. A place to be free."

Arthur looked at Balinor, "Why are you here? How could Merlin have loved you? He only knew you for a few days."

Uther looked ashamed as he answered for the Dragon lord. "Balinor is Merlin's father."

"Thanks old friend, I can handle it. After your father tricked me into trapping the great dragon under the castle, I ran. I couldn't let him execute me like he did the rest of my kin. The dragons were gone, my family destroyed. I fled to Essitir and thought I'd be safe. For a while I was. I spent time in Ealdor working with Hunith. We fell in love and were hand-fasted by the druids. One year and one day is what we were promised. We had six months before the knights of Camelot found me. I ran again. I ran and hid in a cave. I sent a letter to Gaius about a year after I left Hunith. I was alone until you boys found me. I had no idea I was a father until Merlin confronted me."

"Is he the reason you were going to come back? A duty to your son?"

"No. I missed Kilgarrah. I missed your father and Gaius. I was tired of hiding in a cave. I didn't know how to be a father but I was looking forward to getting to know my son."

"After you died I told Merlin no man was worth his tears."

"I know. I saw."

Arthur swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away from the group.

"When I was small the elders would speak of the prophecy of Emrys and the Once and Future King. They would bring a golden age to Albion and magic would be free again. The land and people would flourish. There would be peace between all the kingdoms at last. One king ruling through friendship instead of conquest. Emrys by his side. Protecting and serving him until the day the king drew his last breath. Then Emrys would retreat from the world and wait for his king to rise again. For when Albion's need is greatest the Once and Future King will return. Emrys by his side once more.

"I didn't know I was destined to kill you Arthur. I swear. When you knighted me I thought the golden age was upon us. The king of Camelot had made a druid a knight! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Mordred broke down in tears while Morgana held him, rocking him like a small child.

They all sat back, thinking about this new information. Many things about Merlin finally making sense. Will had taught Merlin that just because you _could _take it all with a smile didn't mean you _had _to. Sometimes you could fight back and if you fought with words you were less likely to get hit. Losing Freya had hardened his heart and he didn't let anyone else in. He still gave most of himself to everyone that knew him but held part inside. He had tried so hard to save Uther to spare Arthur the pain of watching a father die. He didn't seek any recognition for his heroics because he was meant to protect and serve. How could he serve if everyone knew how powerful he was? Only that idiot would take it so literally. Knights serve the king with their swords, don't they? That.. _clotpole_ didn't need to be an actual servant!

* * *

What seemed like hours later a new form was approaching through the mist. To the surprise of everyone in attendance, both Uther and Balinor stood to greet the new arrival. Arthur was shocked to see the Great Dragon. _So he just died? That means I didn't kill him. Oh. Balinor's son. Merlin's a Dragonlord. He lied. Again. _But still, Arthur felt no anger. Maybe anger wasn't allowed in Avalon? He'd have to ask.


	2. Merlin does the right thing

**This is what I had planned for this story but I can't make it do what I want****:**

_balinor was caught after he fled ealdor leaving hunith pregnant and widowed. Merlin was born a dragonlord and kilgarrah told him so when he met the dragon for the first time. Merlin will not be releasing a vengeful half mad dragon on Camelot. also he's a lot more powerful at this point in time than the show led us to believe and he knows how the druids almost revere him. Merlin and Morgana fall in love. go to the druid camp find Mordred. happy little family. Merlin goes back and forth from their home to Camelot to work for Arthur. until Uther finds out and tries to have everyone killed._

* * *

for the first time in her relatively short life Morgana was terrified. she had just done magic! magic! in Camelot! she needed to get out. go somewhere. anywhere but here. Uther would burn her without a second thought. she had to go now. where? Gaius. Gaius was here before the purge. he knew about her nightmares that weren't nightmares. but Gaius was here before the purge. he was Uther's man through and through. Arthur? would her foster-brother turn her in to his father? did she want to risk it? Gwen maybe. no. not sweet Gwen. if Morgana was caught, Gwen would be burned as an accomplice. who? who would help her without turning her in? who wasn't scared of magic? who wasn't afraid of Uther or Arthur? ..Merlin! of course! Merlin was from cenred's kingdom and cenred allowed magic! Merlin even had that friend.. Walter? no Will! that's it. he had that sorcerer friend Will. why hadn't she thought of Merlin first? never mind. it didn't matter. what mattered was going to Merlin. he would know what to do . he always seemed to know more than he let on anyway.

she rushed through the castle in her nightdress and burst through the door to gauis' chambers as Merlin was coming down from his tiny room.

"can i help you my lady?"

"Merlin Merlin I'm scared. you know whats wrong with me don't you?"  
"i"

"Merlin please! i need someone else to say it. i feel as though im losing my mind. please"

"you have magic Morgana. you're a seer and you have magic."

her knees felt weak and she would have collapsed if not for Merlin's hands on her arms. "Merlin i need to leave Camelot. now. please." it was a testament to her fear that she was begging. she was as close to royal as one could get without being royal and here she was begging for help from a servant.

Merlin sat her down on a bench and held her close. running a soothing hand up and down her back while the other held her hand. "Morgana, i have something to tell you." he took his hands from her and brought his cupped palms to his mouth. he whispered into them and when he opened them a butterfly flew out.

her jaw dropped (quite unbecoming of a lady to be gobsmacked but here she was) and then she grinned. it rivaled Merlin's grin in the way it lit up the room. wait the room was actually brighter! the candles were burning higher! was she doing that? oh gods! would she ever learn to control this?

"come my lady, there's someone I want you to meet. he'll be able to tell you more than i can. but let's go back to your room so you're not in your night-clothes."

she looked down at herself a bit embarrassed to be in the company of a man while she was in such a state of undress.

"hold on though, I'll get you a cloak so you have a bit of modesty going back."

he went to his room and came back with a well-worn cloak and a vial of some draught or another. she raised her eyebrow in question and he explained that if they were to meet with anyone in the corridors, she should say that there were no servants about and she desperately needed a tincture of angelica, lavender and lovage.

"what is that for?"

"oh," he blushed. "it's my recipe for, um, womanly issues. if the, um, issues are really bad i add rosemary and lemon balm. tastes better than anything Gaius can come up with. i figured if women have to go through all that then they shouldn't suffer through horrible medicine too."

"how thoughtful. and what should i say about your presence?"

"oh, um, it wouldn't be proper for me to leave you unescorted even though everyone knows that if there was an attack you could take care of yourself. after all I'm simple-minded and doing foolish things like that are expected of me."

she laughed, "let's go Merlin. who are you taking me to meet? will you be taking me out of Camelot? how should i dress?" she yawned "on second thought, can we meet with him tomorrow? I'm feeling a bit tired. do you have anything cooked up for a dreamless sleep?"

"actually, i do. I'm hoping Gaius will let me start distributing it to people. again it doesn't taste horrible and the effects are lovely." he continued talking as he walked into his room. "it's not difficult to make and the person doesn't wake groggy and disoriented. just refreshed and content. here. Gaius mostly uses henbane but I've discovered that Valerian, lavender and jasmine work better. it's just so hard to get jasmine on my salary. if i can start selling it in the market I'll be able to trade for it."


	3. merlin gets speeches

When Merlin woke up he thought it was just another feast day in Camelot. He had no idea that it would be the last normal day of his non too normal life.

He did his usual chores. He ran his usual errands. He dressed Prince Arthur. He avoided Morgana and picked flowers with Gwen. Arthur called him a girl and threw things at him.

Cook trapped him in the kitchens and wouldn't let him leave until he had helped the maids prepare the ovens. All in all a normal feast day.

Following Arthur to the great hall for the feast, Merlin started to get one of his feelings.

"Arthur? Can you be careful tonight?"

"Another feeling Merlin?"

"Yes Sire. Another one of my feelings."

"You feel too much, Merlin. Everything will be fine. Just you wait and see. What could possibly go wrong?"

Merlin groaned. "I really wish you hadn't said that."

A few hours later the feast was in full swing. The speeches were over and wine was flowing freely. And then Merlin's feelings happened.

A group of six visiting nobles stood as one and started toward the dais where the king, his son, and ward were sitting. The hall quieted, not an ominous quiet, no a curious quiet. The kind of hush that falls over a large boisterous crowd when there is a speech coming. Some of the guests were rolling their eyes at the amount of attention these six needed. They thought, _really? Another speech? Can't they just enjoy the amount of time they already took from the festivities and leave us in peace?_

Merlin moved closer to Arthur just in case.

The group stopped and the first man spoke, "Uther Pendragon, we have come in the name of justice. Our families and friends have been killed by your blind hate. You have ordered the deaths of innocents and now we demand your life in return."

All six began chanting. Uther tried to call for his guards but he had no voice. Sir Leon tried to rise and stop them but he was stuck in place. Everyone in the hall was struck silent and still by the spell being cast. Merlin thought Arthur should have kept his damn mouth shut. He sighed. This was it. This was the time to act. This was when his secret would be revealed. It felt anti-climactic.

He calmly walked to stand between the group and the dais. Arthur's thoughts were a mix of screaming for the idiot to run and sighing because he knew what Merlin was about to do and he knew there was no way to stop it.

Merlin cleared his throat and when he spoke it was almost bored, "Excuse me? While I am still breathing no harm will come to the Pendragons or Camelot. You will stop or I will stop you."

The chanting stopped and the leader sneered and spoke again, "Who do you think you are boy? I'll kill you where you stand!"

He threw a curse and Merlin waved it away like it was no more than an annoying fly.

Merlin smiled the same cheeky smile that got things thrown at his head.

"The Druids call me Emrys. Now. I believe I said you will stop or I will stop you. Which will it be?"

The leader paled and the group took a step back.

Merlin grinned and put his hands behind his back. "Good! So. If you'll release everyone and go quietly with the guards to the dungeons it would be much appreciated."

Merlin turned toward the dais and knelt with his head bowed as the guards rushed forward to arrest the group. Another two guards stood next to Merlin unsure whether they should be arresting him as well. They hadn't seen any sign of sorcery from the boy but he had admitted to being one. They didn't know if it was a truth or a well used bluff. Why would a sorcerer be protecting the king?

Now the silence was ominous as the crowd waited to hear whether the king would declare the prince's manservant a sorcerer or a skilled liar.

Uther stood. "So, Sorcerer. You've earned my debt. What do you want?"

Merlin shook his head sadly and looked up. "I want so many things Your Highness. So many many things."

The king slammed his fist against the table and Arthur cringed. "I knew it! What do you want? My kingdom? My life? My son?"

Sir Leon thought there a little too much of his King's priorities were shown in the order of his words.

Again Merlin shook his head. When he spoke again he sounded so sad. " No, Sire. I want your son to live such a long and fulfilling life that he greets Death as an old friend and is patted on the back for a job well done. I want Camelot to never know hunger or the grief of a sudden loss. I want all of Albion to have peace. I'm so very tired of funerals. I'm tired of mourning. I'm tired of war and greed.

"I want to be able to use my powers as a shield instead of a sword. I want to teach other magic users how to heal and grow crops.

"I want the children of the Druid tribes to be as sure as the children of farmers that they will live long enough to have children of their own.

"I want you Uther Pendragon to know peace. I want you to stop grieving. I want you to find happiness. One sorceress wronged you, in your eyes, and you and turned you down a terrible path. I wish you could forgive and forget but I know you cannot. I want you to be able to embrace the life that came from your loss instead of inflicting your suffering on other families.

"I want all of that and so much more. Can you give me any of that, Sire?"

Uther sat speechless. Many ladies present had tears in their eyes and on their cheeks. Arthur stood proud and grinning. That was the most passionate and self-less request of a kings debt that the young prince had ever heard.

Morgana had tears in her eyes and an ache in her heart. She wanted all of those things too but fear of Uther had pushed her into Morgause's twisted arms. She stood and rushed to fall in front of Merlin. She grasped his hands with a half whispered sob of thanks.

The crowd and even Uther seemed to hold their breath as the warlock lifted his hands. Was he going to hurt her? Would he curse her? After that plea would he dare?

Arthur could see what people were thinking and he rolled his eyes. This was _Mer_lin!

Merlin pulled her to his chest, _if I'm going to be executed, _he thought, _may as well do this right. _He smoothed her hair and made soothing noises as she cried. Those closest could hear him murmuring "It's ok. Everything will be ok now. There's always another way. You don't have to be scared anymore. I'm here now."

Uther regained his voice and in the quiet it seemed too loud, too harsh during the touching scene between Lady and servant. "Guards! Remove the Lady Morgana from the prisoner and take him to the dungeon to await trial!"

A collective gasp went through the crowd. A trial?! But that could only mean-!

* * *

Merlin didn't resist arrest. He followed the guards calmly out of the hall and to the dungeons. He greeted the guards on duty like the frequent visitor he was and started a card game.

Upstairs Uther paced. In his fury over a sorcerer in the royal household he seemed to forget that he had an audience.

He raged at Arthur for not noticing sooner. He screamed at Morgana for going near Merlin after he had admitted sorcery. He laughed at the silly request of a condemned man. As if a sorcerer could ever be that selfless. Magic was evil.

Both Arthur and Morgana stood ready to defend their friend but to everyone's surprise it was Sir Leon that stepped forward.

"Sire, if I may speak freely?"

Uther waved his hand in agreement.

"Surely if Mer- the sorcerer wanted to harm you or the kingdom he could have just stood aside and let the others do what they were going to do. We all know the boy is an idiot, perhaps he thought to dabble in magic in a misguided attempt to help."

Arthur caught Morgana's eye as she opened her mouth to disagree. He shook his head and pleaded with his eyes to just go with it. Times like this he really wished he had the ability to do the mind speak thing like the druids.


End file.
